You absototally need one of these credit cards. It comes with a concierge. That means that if you are anywhere in the world, and need to know where to pick up a pound or two of pate de foie gras (which is French - without the accents - for "chopped liver from a grossly abused goose"), then whoever answers the phone in New Delhi will help you find a source for your favorite mean meat. You might be on your own, though, if you need your pate purveyor to add a little lard and some truffles to your precious little market bag, hand-knotted of the finest hemp by a deserving mother in some tropical fair-trade enclave.
     Or maybe you're not in the market for pate. Maybe you need new inflations, a set of Tingley's for the ones the pig chewed, a 10-gallon drum of WD-40, or a tube of rust converter for your Sunday-go-to-meeting F-150.
     Call your concierge. Or if your barn help calls in sick some afternoon - call New Delhi. Maybe they'll send Ashley Shelton, their spokespersperson, whoever that is. All I know is Ashley must be a heckuva' guy and in the top one percent of all the people in America, because only the best of the best get to carry the Black Card. And for only $495 a year. Which is only slightly more - $495, in fact - than you pay for your regular card which doesn't even come close to having a concierge.
     Oh, and did I mention that the card is black because it's made with carbon? Actual precious-grade carbon that could be diamonds with enough pressure and time? But you don't have to wait a million or two years for your black card to pay off. And it's because that carbon is sequestered. So you know where I'm going with this, right? 
     I'm thinking cap and trade, baby! Cap. And. Trade.
     So what are you doing just sitting there reading this? Get out your checkbook. Make one out for $495. Send it in. You say you're worried about not being among "the best?" 
     Hey. You're a farmer, right?
     What could be better?
     For more information about this incredible offer, click here  www.youvegottabekidding.com  Or you could just Google Visa Black Card.

     
     If you want to race your goat in next year's Falmouth. Goat Race, you'll need an entry fee of $4 and you'll need a goat. Fido's owners here didn't quite get the goat message, but a good time was had by all anyway, because the point of the 30th annual Falmouth Goat Race was for a good time to be had by all. Because, when you really stop and think about it, what's the point of racing goats? Lancaster Farming correspondent Michelle Kunjapu stopped in to visit the merriment, took a few pictures and wrote a story. You'll find it in our current edition, and also here http://lancasterfarming.com/node/2347 


     This guy has a dog that dribbles. I have a dog that drools.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mIyMRPV8kg
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